It’s been another great year delivering toys, clothes and other specialty treats. It’s time for Santa’s long winter nap, but first, there are a lot of questions about how Santa can get around the entire world in one night. Truth is…. he doesn’t. Let’s let Santa explain in his own words…

The Legend of the Einstein-Rosen Sleigh

You know, kids, my job was so much easier back in the 4th century. I was just a humble Greek Bishop in a town called Myra, which is part of what you call Turkey today. Around 325 AD, I attended this thing called the Council of Nicaea—which was actually named by mistake when I said to the other bishops, ‘HOW NICE, SEE YA!’

But one year, I had this idea of surprising a few folks with a gift. They were having a rough time and needed a smile. Before you knew it, I was on my horse, traveling all over the area delivering gifts to 2,000 or more houses. But demand grew, and other towns started expecting me to spread some joy beyond my reach.

About 1,500 years ago, I met some very industrious elves who said they would help me out. We moved the whole operation up North, enlisted the help of some reindeer, and suddenly we were a worldwide operation by the start of the Renaissance.

But it got harder and harder to get around the world in one night. The elves and I were struggling to come up with a solution when Mrs. Claus came in and screamed, ‘WORMHOLES!’

Apparently, she had been reading about this guy Albert Einstein and his buddy Nathan Rosen. I invited them up to the North Pole immediately, and we retrofitted the sleigh and the reindeer with turbo power. But the technology by itself wasn’t powerful enough.

Even back in the day, we used ‘Dream Magic’ to get the reindeer and the sleigh into the air. We were green energy from day one! Today, when you sleep, all the dream energy from the one billion children of the world collectively allows us to travel almost at the speed of light and open up wormholes. We bend space-time.

While you sleep for a few hours, it is actually four years for Santa and his team. This is why I look more like I’m 3,000 years old instead of 1,700. So, make sure you get to bed early on Christmas Eve. Santa is counting on you. Dream about all the toys, clothes, and other treats we bring!

And of course, Santa wants you know…

There was never a debate at the North Pole!